It’s been three days since my world was turned upside down. It’s almost certainly “too soon” to sit down and write about it, but this is the only thing I…
So this post may be a bit longer than most of my blogs, but I’ve got a lot to say now that the secret is out! The last few weeks have been some of the most exciting and challenging of my entire life. I plan to do a first trimester recap once I’m officially in my second trimester, but I’ll give you a sneak peek: It’s been hard. I have so many friends who love being pregnant and feel better than ever, but unfortunately, that’s not been my experience. That’s totally okay because this babe will be worth it, but hopefully that explains my absence from the blog!
I was fuming. Furious. How could he hurt me in this way? And how could I ever forgive him? It was my junior year of high school, and I was officially over my on-again, off-again crush and his casual callousness. He played with my feelings and led me on in ways that were unbelievably mean, and I wanted nothing to do with him. I swore him off mentally and vocally, telling my best friend I was finally ready to move on.
The mystery man? That huge jerk? The guy who broke my freakin’ heart? Well, he’s on the couch next to me, so my resolve didn’t stick. Yup, you heard it right — Vagner the doting partner is the same guy who once told me, “I think that you like me, and I’m not interested right now. I’m sorry and I wish I was attracted to you.” The sweet boy who is the epitome of #husbandgoals is also the first guy who ever made me cry.
Big news — I finally put together the relationship Q&A I’ve been working on for approximately a month. Even though it took a while for me to sit down with Vagner and write this up, I am so excited to share it with y’all! Vagner is much more comfortable behind the scenes, which is why it’s so special when I convince him to co-write a post with me.
For those who have been following for a while, you know that I spent a lot of time writing about us during the Tumblr days. I don’t really have a reason why I stopped. Once we got married, it just felt like we’d rather be living our lives than writing about it! Now that we aren’t newlyweds anymore, I do feel like I have the mental capacity to write about our love life without feeling like I’m sharing too much. I’m going to be sharing a lot more about the things we’ve struggled with, the victories we’ve shared, and more.
What’s that sense of dread slowly creeping in? Oh, just the reminder that I’m one year closer to 30. (I’M KIDDING.) If the post title didn’t give it away, today’s my 25th birthday. I’m writing this wrapped up in my favorite hoodie with some serious sinus problems, but I’m going to force myself to get dressed and moving soon. You only get one birthday a year, right?
Before I start partying hard, I want to spend some time reflecting on this year, what I’ve learned, and what I’m hoping for in the next 365 days. I’m a planner who loves envisioning the long-term, and it’s often unhealthy for me only because I punish myself for not reaching my goals. 25 was always a huge birthday in my eyes, and I just knew I’d be accomplished and successful by the time the milestone arrived. The funny thing is, I’ve got something that no accomplishment ever brought me: genuine happiness and the reminder that I am strong and full of life.
If you haven’t spent much time on my Instagram, you may have missed it, so here it is again: I’m “shout it from the rooftops” in love with my husband, who I’ve known since I was 15 years old. But he’s not my soulmate.
I know this reads like clickbait, but hear me out. When I was a little girl, I thought about how one day, I’d meet my Prince Charming and live happily ever after. That thought process was still around when I was dating — I’d endlessly wonder whether Vagner was “the one” or if I was supposed to keep looking.